All is forgiven. The automatic HP update demon has just offered to give me a new and critical (yellow triangle an' all) update. I'm assuming it's going to fix my Excel problem. So I'm happy. Well, kinda. A bit. OK, not at all really. Turns out the update (coming, remember, via HP's own Vista utility) is entitled:
"?? HP ??????????"
with a description of:
"??????,??????????? HP ??????????????????"
:-/
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